Travel

I don’t care how often I take this flight, 330 rolls around quick. The world is eerily quiet this early.

Oscar only whines when he is wanting to go play outside with another dog or he is upset. Luckily he is a pretty happy dog and does neither with any sort of regularity. Today as I typed away on the computer I heard a whining noise from the other room. I gave it sometime considering it would probably pass. A few minutes into the code I hear it still. Sheesh Oscar! Remind me to fix the screen in my door as it is now a secret path way for cute little puppies. I walk into the kitchen to find Oscar and a little beagle puppy playing around the floor. Heart+puppy=melt. I have such a soft spot for baby anything. I look out the door and see Mom trailing the back end of the Mini. They both look too healthy to be strays so I stand outside and listen for the screams of children looking for their pals. No sirens or anything else.I drop some food in a make shift Cool Whip bowl (why did I have a Cool Whip bowl?) and some water in the Tupperware near it. They eat like there is no tomorrow and I gather they are lost. I sit down on the stairs contemplating what to do and Oscar comes up near me. He props up on my shoulder and licks my cheek.“Sorry boy, I can hardly give you the attention you deserve.” With that I top off the Cool Whip bowl and head inside. Oscar seems okay with my course of action and finds his spot on the couch. I wish I had the time and space for the both of them. As I prepared for the Sabbath I did the scan around the house, peeking from the corner of window sills searching for my travelers. Nothing.Good luck to the beagle family, hope they find a family here soon.

I have my chillout playlist on as I sit comfortably in the Sky Harbor Airport. Today I packed up all my things and put the mini cooper on the back of a truck. It is official, I am heading home. Home is such a groggy term for me lately and this situation only serves to expound upon that. It seems like a few days ago I first moved out here. Very few realized why I took the slot here for a quick move and in search of true honesty I am going to type it up.I pushed for the move to AZ for a few months to get out of the small Alabama town where the memories hid. The house, despite me living alone there, was filled with memories of a past time I longed to forget. It wasn’t a painful memory that put me on the airplane that day, but rather the constant memory. In my life I have such a horrible habit of running away from situations that force me to admit weakness. Waking up in the morning directly following my Sign of the Cross is the mirror review. I do my best to puff my chest up high and put on the battle armor for the day. I relish the opportunity to display my manliness to the world abound. Admitting that there is a morning that I awaken and am scared to look in the mirror showcases the fact I fake the relishing.Today I awoke from a bed in AZ, tonight I will lay myself upon a pillow in AL. While the flight is nothing new, the mentality I now posses in my head is totally different. I have learned that memories are just like the air we breathe, no matter how much air you suck in, air will always be here. To expound on that slightly, memories will always surround you. There will be times as you walk down the road and take a breathe that reminds you of a past time. What I learned over the past few months is that holding your breathe only forces you to take a deeper breathe when you release. Memories are nothing to hide from. Instead of forcing myself to run from the time I had so desired to forget I am now going to breathe it in. I have so much air to breathe…so much to learn…

Sometimes when we leave a place we know it isn’t forever. Yet you still look around with deep breath and soak it in. What is “it” that we need to soak?I had that feeling today as I boarded in Tucson. I knew that I might be back but this time would be the last of this era. This was the last of a time in my life, a period of great testing. I felt this one other time in Shreveport so I know it well. The same yearn for one last look. One last breath. One last freeze frame of all the people in the room. Some people mistake this feeling by assosciating it with a place. They misunderstand that the place is little more than a collection of people and emotions. The scenery is picture worthy, but it is the person looking at it with you that will cement your love of it. There are many more places for me to go. I look forward to bottling that moment up and placing it on my shelf of life. Take that last deep breath and seal it tightly for this is all you will have of this moment, this place, this time.