Talk about nervous…

Wow….I can only hope that my fingers can type as fast as my heart is racing. My wife is in Baltimore. Thats right she is exactly 15 hours away from landing in Shreveport. I have to admit that I don’t feel at ease. I am excited because of part of me believes in her heart somewhere she is the same girl. And then the other half of me is nervous like a kid going to prom because I know she isn’t. I almost have to convince her to fall in love with me all over again. I have to sell myself like a man does in a used car lot…making sure to be the perfect man. But I have accepted that I am not the perfect man. I am Nick Schmidt. The best I can hope for is everything God has made me. I have flowers all over the house, a bubble bath kit and candles upstairs for her. I have cleaned the house from the top to the bottom, inside and out. I detailed her car to make sure it sparkled like the smile I will have for her when she comes off the plane. And yet somehow I question myself. I question if it will all workout. I wonder if this time next year on 23 Jan 2007, if I will be writing again as a single man. I have attempted to keep my spirits high. God hates divorce, truly…and I know that if I try my hardest in everything I do that I will be left without guilt. It will not be of my doings. I ask of all you out there…pray. I know what a simple concept, but please just pray. If you are agnostic or atheist than find God and pray. If only out of the friendship we share. I want my wife back. I want for the Lord to open her heart and let me love again. The Bible speaks this so true. Man is to leave his Mother and Father and become one with his wife. Without her I will be but half the person I have been. I know and trust the Lord. If that is what happens, then it will be by His loving grace the days will continue on. I almost feel sad for her, she has yet to find the peace I have within. I do not wonder anything but the Lord’s plan for me. Everything else are just details…God Bless Brothers and Sisters,