October 12, 2008 at 6:37 pm · Filed under Personal
First let me establish the baseline: self induced. There is nothing following this sentence that is forced upon me.
A year ago (or darn tooting close) I decided to break things off with my ex-girlfriend. The sinking feeling in my heart, the uneasy deja vu of past relationships, etc. What followed from that point forward was a sabbatical from all that was dating related. Let me define being single, single is not having a person to call to see what “we” are doing this weekend. Sure there have been a few lunches and dinners, but never did I allow myself to put forth the pretence of seriousness. And why?
For the first time in years I decided to cool it off. I threw myself (even more so) into work and explored who Nick was. After all this time I learned a few things. I am a geek so hold tight for the list:
1. Celibacy
Yes I wrote it. What I learned was that Priests have it figured out. Without the clout of such things, the world is clear. With some training and discipline it is possible to turn portions of your brain off. Moving beyond the “oooh shiny!” world of dating allows you to truly connect with someone before the dive into more than that.
2. Friday Nights
I will admit it, there are Fridays that suck. Then again there are Mondays that suck. What I decided to do was move from selling myself to improving myself. You would be surprised what a years worth of Friday night workouts can do for your abs and mile times. I consider this my time of restoration, like an old Chevy lost in the field I am rebuilding the engine. We devout so much of ourselves in a relationship that it is important to change the oil. I changed my oil.
3. Caves
Wandering in the desert sure did Moses right. The monks of the Early Church put themselves in places where only God could speak to them. In a way I did also. My friends will vouch that I have been a blackhole for calls and emails. The reason is that I needed to cut it off, everything. Fixing what is broke means focusing on just that, the broke.
Great, a list of 3 things I did right! Time to segway into what I did wrong.
1. Satisfaction
There is only so much gleaned satisfaction from working hard. I kick ass at what I do and am proud of what God’s blessings have allowed me to do. There is a diminishing return though on time vs. work. You reach a point where the hours simply do not provide for the same satisfaction. I regularly push that boundary (148 hours last 2 weeks)
2. Connections
Here is where I know I can never be a Priest or monk, I yearn for human contact. Not just the touch of a hand or a smile…personal connections where true emotions are shared. This comes in many forms, but the simple act of sharing life feeds my soul. A lack of connection with people forces me to become docile. Wits and smarts aside, my attacks and plans are dulled by no sharpness. Man sharpens Man and I truly believe that. Without someone there to challenge you in anyway you fail to progress. Running against yourself keeps you consistent, but running with a friend makes you excel.
3. Focus
I loose my focus. There, I said it and will admit to being less focused as a hermit. In my past I have gazed upon married men with such pity as I knew they had little time to advance their skills and knowledge. Wife and kids take time away from what was once filled with hacking on code. What has happened over the past year is I have lost focus. Lost focus on much more than simply computers, but life in general. Confessions, adoration, Mass, family, friends, etc. When a photographer takes pictures he doesn’t start with the closest shot. Rather, he first starts from afar and bore-sights the thing he truly needs to capture. This ability to see beyond the shot means options are open.
What is next? There is the million dollar question. After a years worth of single I have to admit I am indifferent to it. Recognizing that being single is just as much work as being someone’s better half has helped me realize that I am okay either way. The past year has been filled with ups and downs, joy and sorrow, and a lot of learning. At the end of the day I no longer need someone there. That is the biggest change in my life. What was once a requirement is now a nice to have. Rather than looking for a mate like one searches for water in the desert, I now search for a mate like a coffee junkie at Starbucks. The possibilities are endless and Lord knows I enjoy a good cup of java. So that is next, the next cup, the next drop, the next perfect steamy cup of java. Frankly I have made it this long and I am willing to wait for perfection.
October 8, 2008 at 6:13 pm · Filed under Personal
I sat down with my good friend Bruce tonight for dinner when he correctly pointed out it had been awhile since I posted. Can’t have that, so here we go with an update:
Living in DC has been fun the past few months. I am going to be DTA’ing (TDY) up to DC for a few months here soon. Oscar and I will have a blast exploring all the sites and things to do up here. I am going to buy a nice riding bike (minus the goofy shorts) and go riding with some guys from work. The weather is amazing and the runs through the district in the morning are breathtaking, for a few reasons, one almost being hit by cars and the surreal beauty of an asleep city.
Got a new iPod today. The 120 Classic so I can carry my music collection around with me. I am up to 12,000 songs now. The iPhone was just too tiny as I have eclectic music tastes. “Gosh I wish I had that studio recording of Hendrix and Dylan with me.” Now I do.
It wouldn’t be a Nick post (or a Jerry Springer Episode) if I didn’t have my parting thought. Beyond the superficial where I am and what the latest gadget is, there is the emotional side.
I was driving through an unknown part of Herndon after a meeting attempting to locate my way back (why did I forget my fricken TomTom!?) and was so engrossed in speaking with a coworker that I failed to recognize the landmark signaling my turn. Usually that is my waypoint method, find something that looks funny or intriguing. On this trip with the coworker I had been so negligent in looking that when I looked back on the trip I failed to find my way back to the office.
The story, while true, is my metephorical attempt at historical reference point. Today I looked back on tomorrow. Life is encyclical and a series of small stories filling the bigger novel. Each day is the comic strip in your local paper, a snapshot of time. Since we are invovled in the creation of that strip we progress as it does, day for day. It isn’t until someone comes back and reminds you of where the story started that you realize how far life has come. Today was that day. In many ways it was an amazing reminder that we can do great things from adversity. Other times it reminds us that we haven’t become or done what we had hoped we would by now.
10/8/2008, that funny day that will forever be my waypoint to finding my way backhome. Self realization is an amazing gift.
September 22, 2008 at 2:30 pm · Filed under Personal
Congressional Speech
Congressman Ron Paul
U.S. House of Representatives
July 16, 2002
Mr. Speaker, I rise to introduce the Free Housing Market Enhancement Act. This legislation restores a free market in housing by repealing special privileges for housing-related government sponsored enterprises (GSEs). These entities are the Federal National Mortgage Association (Fannie), the Federal Home Loan Mortgage Corporation (Freddie), and the National Home Loan Bank Board (HLBB). According to the Congressional Budget Office, the housing-related GSEs received $13.6 billion worth of indirect federal subsidies in fiscal year 2000 alone.
One of the major government privileges granted these GSEs is a line of credit to the United States Treasury. According to some estimates, the line of credit may be worth over $2 billion. This explicit promise by the Treasury to bail out these GSEs in times of economic difficulty helps them attract investors who are willing to settle for lower yields than they would demand in the absence of the subsidy. Thus, the line of credit distorts the allocation of capital. More importantly, the line of credit is a promise on behalf of the government to engage in a massive unconstitutional and immoral income transfer from working Americans to holders of GSE debt.
The Free Housing Market Enhancement Act also repeals the explicit grant of legal authority given to the Federal Reserve to purchase the debt of housing-related GSEs. GSEs are the only institutions besides the United States Treasury granted explicit statutory authority to monetize their debt through the Federal Reserve. This provision gives the GSEs a source of liquidity unavailable to their competitors.
Ironically, by transferring the risk of a widespread mortgage default, the government increases the likelihood of a painful crash in the housing market. This is because the special privileges of Fannie, Freddie, and HLBB have distorted the housing market by allowing them to attract capital they could not attract under pure market conditions. As a result, capital is diverted from its most productive use into housing. This reduces the efficacy of the entire market and thus reduces the standard of living of all Americans.
However, despite the long-term damage to the economy inflicted by the government’s interference in the housing market, the government’s policies of diverting capital to other uses creates a short-term boom in housing. Like all artificially-created bubbles, the boom in housing prices cannot last forever. When housing prices fall, homeowners will experience difficulty as their equity is wiped out. Furthermore, the holders of the mortgage debt will also have a loss. These losses will be greater than they would have otherwise been had government policy not actively encouraged over-investment in housing.
Perhaps the Federal Reserve can stave off the day of reckoning by purchasing GSE debt and pumping liquidity into the housing market, but this cannot hold off the inevitable drop in the housing market forever. In fact, postponing the necessary but painful market corrections will only deepen the inevitable fall. The more people invested in the market, the greater the effects across the economy when the bubble bursts.
No less an authority than Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan has expressed concern that government subsidies provided to the GSEs make investors underestimate the risk of investing in Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.
Mr. Speaker, it is time for Congress to act to remove taxpayer support from the housing GSEs before the bubble bursts and taxpayers are once again forced to bail out investors misled by foolish government interference in the market. I therefore hope my colleagues will stand up for American taxpayers and investors by cosponsoring the Free Housing Market Enhancement Act.
Time to write Mr. Paul in this November…
September 22, 2008 at 9:10 am · Filed under Personal, Techie
Everyone makes fun of me because my phones have the classic ringer. You know, like Grandma’s old phone that could take down a robber. As always XKCD hits it spot on 
Even included a Frank Sinatra reference to top it off
