No Shave November – Aftermath Report

Men in my Family either grow kickass beards or what amounts to patchy peach fuze. Having been military and in the corporate world my whole life I was unable to determine my future. With the departure from Boeing and some personal days to take care of, it was decided to join in on No Shave November. Becca was on board as she always liked me a little scruffy. I did what any man did to prepare for a beard…nothing…I have to admit it is tough work growing a beard. Between the scratching and avoiding the “about to go hunting” or “I drive a white van with no windows” look, I found myself questioning the task at hand. In the end it grew thick and manly. Had I dared to wear flannel, there is a good chance I would have been drafted into Smokey Bears forest protection team.

Lessons Learned:

  • I was never carded after week #2. I went from the young kid to middle aged lumber jack in 2 short weeks. Becca being the beautiful maiden continued to be carded in my presence. She was my younger woman for the month :)
  • You can’t help but rub your chin while thinking with a beard. Surfing Amazon.com one day, I found a handmade pipe for sale. I was sacred the beard rubbing plus pipe combo would have allowed me superhuman brain powers. Not good for anyone
  • I constantly had the feeling I was a crappy tupperware dish. I’d think there was an ingrown hair only to find a piece of pita or something hiding.
  • Becca loved my beard telling me I looked manly (more on that down the list) yet found it difficult to kiss me. She won’t admit to it, but in the words of Zach Galifianakis “Making out with me is like making out with a welcome mat”
  • There needs to be a secret handshake for guys doing NSN (No Shave November) so that we can find each other in a crowd. Every guy under 45 I saw with a beard I just assumed was deeply committed to the same plan as me for NSN. Cowardly I would smile and in my head imagine us doing cool guy things with our beards; like playing Rugby or wrestling alligators
  • Chicks dig a beard. I have the same theory about guys in T-shirts and jeans (bias for sure here.) Beards tell the world there is nothing metro-sexual about you and at any moment you could be changing their car’s oil or fighting a fire. Its a primal look.