Styrofoam Cross

It is the seed of desire,
The eruption of my pain,
With tears in my eyes I continue,
The act brings nothing to gain,

Guilt stricken my soul,
As I release creation itself,
I am sick inside my soul,
Even with my great health,

It is not my body that hurts,
The flesh is always there,
The soul is the afflicted one,
My cross is so heavy to bear,

This happens to everyone else,
Not to the ministers and priests,
The tears haunt my memory,
And the images torment my sleep,

Lord please help me! I call for you!
I need your grace and love,
Please rest upon my shoulder,
A peaceful mindful dove,

I fell once again tonight,
No telling how long I will last,
To the world I am of piety,
They only see the outer cast,

I never expected a styrofoam cross,
Maybe just not one this heavy,
The waters of sin rise,
Hold strong Lord as my levy,