Archive for April, 2006
April 30, 2006 at 9:45 pm · Filed under Personal
The rain and thunder poured down,
Upon my blood drenched face,
Car flipped over twice in the ditch,
Threw me into this muddy place,
Headlights swerved into my view,
Occupants rushed over to catch a glimpse,
They were blocking my view of the sky,
What I saw I attempted to make some sense,
“Quick call for a doctor!” she squawked out,
As the cell phones flipped in unison,
The angel sat at my broken feet,
Asked me how things had been,
“I was just praying for a visit.”
“Think you could send the man from Galilee?”
The angel looked over at my body,
“I’ll make some calls and we’ll see”
He drifted over to a quiet spot,
Made some calls to the guy above,
I closed my eyes in wretched pain,
And prayed for an ounce of God’s love,
The angel appeared next to me,
His hand placed upon my heart,
Told me it was time to go,
Placed my broken body on the cart,
“No worries young man
Life isn’t about this place
You are heading to somewhere new,
You served your master great”
With that the clouds opened up,
And the rain poured down like waterfalls,
I felt my breathe escape me,
Thankful for the angel’s call,
April 30, 2006 at 9:44 pm · Filed under Personal
You were thrown into the room that night,
Awoken from your deep sleep,
Stripped you of your dignity and clothing,
Measured you up for your own keep,
“This box will fit you well” the suited man said,
As he stepped aside to let you see,
“It may look like all the others”,
“But it is yours simply to be”,
As you went from light to dark,
And the suited man closed the lid,
You knew this life was over,
Never again would you be a kid,
Inside your box all alone,
You wept for a soul to hear you,
If only the calls were answered,
That you may have a saving hero,
The carpenter must have been nearby,
His pity drove him to crack the lock,
A hand reached in and grabbed your own,
Pulled you from that well fit box,
He hid you from the others,
Under the radar to the sun you slipped,
As you found your way to the meadows,
The locks on your arms he clipped,
There is hope for you all,
To be removed from your personal Sheol,
For a carpenter to crack the lock,
And show all that there is to feel,
When you have had enough of the darkness,
Cry for a hero nearby lost soul,
I promise that the carpenter is listening,
His compassion is his downfall…
April 19, 2006 at 2:19 am · Filed under Personal
Some people call Jr. High yearbooks humiliating. I call them perspective makers. I look back at the pictures and remember all the concerns I had in life and how important everything seemed. I couldn’t help but look into the eyes of these kids and wonder where they are now. Having been a military brat, I am fortunate enough to still know a few of them. But for the most part I have lost touch. What I wanted to do was share with everyone what people said about Nick and share with you what I take from it now. I want everyone to keep in mind that this was years ago, close to a decade. I want to explore what would have happened had I listened to my peers. A little background information, I had been working for a computer company for 2 years at this point. I was the new kid from a year ago and just making some friends. I played basketball and baseball and would imagine I was cocky to say the least. Humility is something I wasn’t capable of at this point in life because of my fear of being so alone in this new country. Okay off we go!
From Nadja - “You are such a nerd. Thanks for being a good friend.”
Yeah this will be something you read a lot of. I was a nerd. This was way before it was cool to be a nerd. I missed that boat. Looking back I hope I truly was a good friend to her. I remember fixing her Apple Performa 650 running MacOS 8.5. Wow…I remembered that…not much of
her…but her computer. She is right, I was such a nerd.
From Mr. Martz - “Work hard and you’ll go far. Thanks for allowing me to give you a hard time in class. Do your work.”
Well at least it wasn’t just my classmates giving me a hard time. Consistency is the spice of life. This teacher really dug in the nails and I took it. Jokes on him, I became best-friends with his daughter years later and lived at his house at which point I was able to annoy the hell out of him. And his advice didn’t help, I still don’t do homework.
From Erica - “hey computer nerd. Wassup?! You were a great help in Algerbra”
I wonder when people say “wassup” if they expect a rhetorical response into the great beyond. For example I read this tonight at dinner with just my dog and I and I yelled out “NOT TOO MUCH ERICA.” Darn you Erica, for eternity I will attempt to answer your question upon reading this page.
From Malia - She reserved a whole page and wrote 2 sentences. “Hey whats up? Nothing much here just chilling in the gym. Thanks for being there for me”
Now I like this one even though uncontrollably I yelled out “NOT TOO MUCH MALIA” much in the same wild manner as with Erica’s. My neighbors must think I have an infinite amount of roommates or I am just crazy. Either way I am glad Malia felt I was there for her. I really think I hadn’t turned my back on God totally here and was able to be a good guy.
From Danielle - “You are a nerd. I hope your ego doesn’t get n-e-more inflated. Valley Girl”
This was called on as I gave this girl a hard time. I think it may have something to do with her friends and her tormenting me because I worked at a computer company. Here let me get her friend on here for the full effect of group dynamic.
From Sarah - “Samehir about your ego - aka head. trust me, stick with b-ball.”
These girls are right. I should have stopped working and pursued a career in basketball. Maybe then I could grow up and be happy. I guess working and being passionate about a love in my life was a bad thing. I wonder now if these girls have personal ads online: Looking for a timid full time basketball player who spells funny. These 2 aren’t on myspace, but I wonder if a quick eharmony search for that last line will turn them up.
From Stephanie - “You’re a true computer NERD! Don’t stay that way try 2 change. You’re a jacka**. C-ya when I c-ya.”
Phew! Thanks Stephanie. Just think of how bad my life would be now if I had stayed with her advice and gave up this nerd thing…oh wait…I hope she isn’t this critical to all nerds anymore. And Stephanie you are right, I will see you when you see me. Unless I duck behind a car and I
see you but don’t see me. HA! Take that deep 1-liner from Jr. High. See me when you see me…only if you are lucky…I grew up to be a Ninja Nerd!
From Amanda - “Nickers, Hey your my favorite undies. That’s all + other indoor sports”
This girl was simply one of the coolest real people I knew back then. She is the one who coined Nickers, a name that still is in use on my online identities…the story is still top secret. All the same I still do love indoor sports. Man she was spot on. In fact I am going to finish
this and then meet my indoor badminton club for tea and crumpets.
From Carley - “Okay Big Head your kids will have Big Heads.”
I need to let my future wife in on this one. Our children are doomed to have overly large noggins. Carley if you read this and I have big headed kids, I will find you and thank you for this curse.
From Anthony - “Computer Nerd. You’re pretty cool…not”
This coming from the kid who was 4′11″ in the 8th grade. He was a really good guy but I was bad shape when the guy who couldn’t ride the theme park rides was kicking me in the ribs with that line in a yearbook.
So I am really glad I stuck to my guns and trudged on with life. I think in a lot of ways we are so scared of anything different in school that we attack it for fear of revealing our own deficiencies. I look back with a smile on those times. Just a year later I was in the “in crowd” and loving life. I wonder if I got better at hiding my nerdness or I just succumb to my fears and molded into the teeny bopper society. I hope none of this sounds mean from these people. I wish them all the best and understand that we were all hormonal little mini-adults. You are all in my prayers and hope you are doing great in life. But thank you for not actually having an impression on me. My beacon score and happiness thank you.
God Bless — Nick
PS
For my Jr. High Graduation that year I received the very first “Computer Nerd of the Year” award at Bitburg Middle School. It was a special award created for me. I hope the lineage still holds strong with fellow nerds following behind me! These kids will be people’s bosses in 10 years.
April 6, 2006 at 9:46 am · Filed under Personal
I am heading down to Tampa this weekend to see Kade. I am excited…well excited would be a vast understatement of the true extent of this emotion. Having been just about one month since Kade and I last seen each other, time has flown by. I know that isn’t the most romantic wording do describe the length of time between visits, but its true. With work being as bustling as it has been I have little time to do much more than sleep and eat. It is very much a schedule I keep: wake up, work, home, checkup on the house cleaning, dinner, workout, walk Oscar, talk to Kade, bed. Wash and rinse.
My problem has been the threshold for which I thought I had worked up to over the years of placing myself in Monk mode. If you are a first time reader let me explain Monk mode. Monk mode is, as the name suggests, when Nick throws himself into a very pious lifestyle with no sexual temptation or pleasure. AT ALL. Which is a perfect mode for a Catholic Man. My problem is that I never expected the Devil and my own mind to be such a horrible enemy. Being attacked from the inside out has proving to take more than I imagined. Many times I wonder if my relationship with Kade is the reason for this problem, if being involved with someone is what pushes the limits of my mental stability. What I realized though, Kade is the reason I work so hard to ensure that purity only second to my relationship with God. Not to say she isn’t a source of temptation. If you have met Kade and are over the age of reason, you know what I mean. Yet with a strong Christian woman joining me in my walk, I find that those moments I stumble I can talk to her. She is there to pray with me, tell me to get my head out my butt and continue on. I truly feel that if left to my own devices I would have quilted myself into craziness. She has allowed me to realize that I am a man and worse yet a sinner. Not that it makes my anger at myself any less, but it allows me to fill in those gaping holes of purity with redemption and prayer. This maybe a surprise to many who know me through ministry but I am a weak man. At a very early age I was indoctrinated into the world of temptation and hell. The two feet with which I stand now have spent much time dragged behind me as my knees did the walking. I trip, I stumble, and I break. Luckily for me God has blessed me with a beautiful woman to be a true bearer of Christ and stretch out her hand to pick me up. What is being Christian other than the incarnation of a Spirit that fills you within. She shows me that. Thank you Kade.
April 1, 2006 at 10:03 pm · Filed under Personal
Had an awesome talk with the guys on prayer tonight! Kris couldn’t make it so it was a one horse show tonight. It was really nice and I thank God for the chance to do His work! I followed it up with a great ride from Biloxi to Gulfport and back with the yellow motorcycle. I am hurting for an rc51 
