April 20, 2004 at 10:40 · Filed under Personal
I can’t say the words
They hurt to much to even think,
I wonder if these will be the last,
That finally shove us over the brink,
You have played with my heart,
We have gone to far,
I can’t take this anymore,
Stuck in the emotional revolving door,
Let me go and say its done,
I feel I am holding on to the end,
The chances have been there,
To let you try and start over again,
I weep at night at the thought of it,
The night will be so lonely,
But at least I know that in my solitary,
At least it will be my love only,
Now its a question of morality,
Are you still truly mine alone,
I wonder all the times you don’t call,
Are you out with a wannabe clone?
I debate whether tonight I will answer,
As the phone rings once or twice,
Will I have the strength to carry on,
Or just end this horrid life,
I pray to God every minute,
To give me peace in my soul,
Take what pain I have inside,
Fill the spot you left a hole,
I deserve better than this,
If only I could convince myself to give it,
To someone other than you,
Will my heart even permit?
April 20, 2004 at 10:39 · Filed under Personal
Take off your persona little sheep,
The world doesn’t need a new agenda,
You think yourself different from me,
That your way of life is perfectly splendid,
Because I pray to God I am different,
I must need to paint myself up in black,
Walk around the sun light sad and depressed,
Make every topic my own personal attack,
You think of my a hypocrite,
Because I always am falling short,
I claim to be a child of God,
But the world’s drugs I occasionally snort,
There is a difference between you and I,
When I breathe in this sinful dust,
I feel dirty and repulsive,
Smeared with this disgusting lust,
What makes you and I so different,
It is simply the God we choose to worship,
For you its the clothing and the music,
For me its a personal relationship,
I won’t fall to your level little sheep,
But know our Shepard is on the hill,
If you run away from the herd,
Behind you safely there he is still,
By removing yourself from the gaze of Him,
You and others have delusions of being unique,
Instead of being loners of the world,
You band together as you sleep,
The corporate cum is your Shepard now,
He watches all his “unique” little lambs,
There is the option to get away,
And forgiveness yours to un-damn,
Remove from your soul the emptiness,
Fill that empty devoid with joy,
Come back into His arms,
It is everlasting and not some cheap ploy…
